13 Reasons I Euthanized My Dog Alfie
He went to the water bowl, stood there with legs wobbling, dipped his nose into the water and nearly drowned himself.
After recovering, he stuck his tongue out and took one, tentative lap – just enough to wet his whistle, and then pivoted and sat in the bowl, wetting his hind end.
He courteously waited until I cleaned up that mess before wandering into the living room and peeing on the rug.
One night, I heard a short bark-howl, sat straight up in bed, listened again, heard it again, grabbed the flashlight (and no, I don’t know why I didn’t turn on a light instead of grabbing the flashlight; it was in the middle of the night, and I was still half in a dream about Joe Biden twirling on a trapeze in a tutu. A spotlight made sense at the time.) and after a full-home search, found Alfie tucked away behind the guest toilet in what I can only call a “pretzel position.” Poor little feller went on a midnight wander-about and ended up in Timbuk-toilet.
Wiener bands are so ignominiously humiliating. Necessary, granted, but a dog of his caliber should not have to wear them.
He no longer walked with his lovely, almost equine dressage gait. Instead, he minced around on my hard floors, his back hunched over and all four legs barely able to keep from splaying to the four corners at a split-second.
Every now and then he lost his grip on the floor and commences to scrabbling for purchase like Scooby-Doo running from the monsters. Replete with the sound effects, to my ear.
He needed a 30-minute break after eating to rest and come away from his bowl.
He fell in his own poo-poo.
He panted a lot. I keep my house at a brisk 72’F, not to mention the box fan I cart from room to room to turn on him while he sleeps. He’s in pain, my boy.
He became even more of a Mama’s Boy, coming to me at random times and leaning against my legs.
In truth, he acted like he’s waiting to die: sighing, tail drooping, eyes dull, farting a lot. Some of you might say, “Hell, that’s my dog every day.” But it wasn’t mine.
I pulled him close, nose-to-snoot, and had a deep look into his eyes. He was tired, guys, and I couldn’t bear it any longer.
Originally published on August 21, 2019
