The other day, my Life Partner Heather and I went to a gospel brunch at the House of Blues. It was an early birthday present for moi. Due to my nieces’ incredibly busy shed-yool of weekend volleyball and swim meets, in order to get our milestone celebrations in, my sister and I must calendar our dates when she’s not schlepping her offspring all over the country.
Anyway, the gospel brunch was solid gold. (Apropos of nothing, there were more white people there than I expected.) After stuffing ourselves with chicken, biscuits, gravy, waffles, ham, macaroni and cheese, grits, jambalaya (and couple of Rolaids, if I’m being honest), the curtains opened, the choir burst into heavenly song, the band struck up a lively bass rhythm, and this gorgeous creature with a glorious weave, sparkling long-lashed eyes, jewel-laden fingers and perfect red lipstick sashayed onto the stage and with her pipes of gold, sang her lungs out to the Lord for the next hour.
There was a lot of audience participation during the group’s performance. It’s hard to turn down Heaven’s angel when she’s beckoning you on stage to praise Jesus, but my patented “no eye contact” rule from the 3rd row worked like a charm – as always. But toward the end of our rousing hour of worship and waffles, I got sucked in like a sucker.
“Does anyone here love the Lord? Can I get a witness???” the beautiful angel cried. The audience waved, stomped our feet and raised our plastic orange juice glasses in hearty amen.
“Does anyone in here love <pause> the LAWD?” she asked again, elevating the enthusiasm. I waved my napkin in a hearty circle above my head, like I might attempt to lasso the Holy Spirit Himself, I suppose.
“Put your hands together for Jesus!!” she yelled, and we, the audience, were delighted to accommodate this magnificent creation straight from Eden. The band merrily kept up the background musical riffing while the choir bopped to the beat.
“Who up in here is celebrating an anniversary in January? Stand up and be recogniiiiiiized!” She made the question into the most heavenly gospel refrain that I’d ever heard. Heather, having just celebrated 21 years with her Heterosexual Life Partner Justin, obligingly stood up, swaying in the Spirit.
“Family, we have someone to celebrate!” the Gospel Queen waved her borrowed brunch napkin at Heather, peering into the crowd. “Honey, where’s your huuuusband? WHO is celebrating a godly union with YOU during the House of Blues Gospel Brunch™ TODAY?” The crowd enthusiastically clapped and whistled.
So I stood up because, well, she asked. It’s easy to get caught up in the Spirit at a gospel brunch. Growing up in the Worldwide Church of God was never this inspirational.
The drummer’s beat faltered for a moment, I swear. The choir continued to clap and sway. The gospel queen blinked, paused…and then rallied like a champ. “Well, congratulations, you two! Put your hands together for our heavenly family celebrating another year in union with our faithful Lawd!”
Heather and I cackled all the way back to the suburbs.
