In Which I Commence Blogging...
Recently I watched my brother’s dog Simba while Josh was off for the weekend with friends. My dog Alfie considers most dogs Enemies That Must Be Destroyed but was surprisingly sanguine about having another dog taking up my lap space. When Alfie wanted to snuggle, Simba, who is all of 8 ounces soaking wet, got spunky at one point and curled his upper lip like Elvis. I nipped that behavior real quick. Only room for one shithead dog in this household, and it’s not a teeny little pomchi.
I just bought a TV. A few weeks ago my HDMI ports went out, and since then I’ve been squinting at my laptop during every tennis match. While Novak was floundering over the last 11 months, that was acceptable. Recently, however, he went Beast Mode for the first time in a year in the Rome semi-final. Bagels and breadsticks, oh my! That kind of athletic performance was finally was New-TV-Worthy.
Then he went out and got thrashed by Nadal in the final. But it was in beautiful 4k UHD.
<<dons my “I ❤ Nole T-shirt”>>
There’s always the next tournament.
The other day at work I scheduled a town hall for Hot Finance Boss's (HFB) global organization and immediately got an email from someone in France displeased with the date: “Sacre bleu! Thursday eez Ascension Day – most of Europe will be on holiday.” I devoted a moment to feeling like a jingoistic American but honestly, have you ever tried to nail a date between May and September when at least one country in Europe is not on holiday? The entire continent is on one bank holiday after another all summer. When I checked who exactly is shut down on Thursday, I find that it’s a couple of notable countries – and Luxembourg and Liechtenstein. I told Geraud to enjoy his day off and that there’ll be a replay.
Shortly after the town hall broadcast, I received a couple of emails requesting that next time we provide toll free access numbers for the .5 FTEs we probably have in both Latvia and Burundi. Duly noted. I utilized my favorite email button.
Speaking of work, a few weeks ago my friend Jane, who was accompanied by a couple of guys with cameras and lighting equipment, nabbed me in the hall and asked if I’d be a warm body in a quick company film they were prepping for the IPO of my company. They wanted a few people demonstrating “collaboration.”
“Why not?” I shrugged, channeling my father's approach to adventure. HFB was stashed away in a meeting for a few hours, and I am the most cooperative and collaborative person I know. I threw on some red lipstick and, for 15 minutes, pantomimed a conversation with a couple of colleagues, replete with lively gestures and animated conversation.
A week later, the video was splashed all over the company intranet. I had dozens of colleagues all over the world pinging me to say they saw me in all my cinematic glory. Given that the entirety of my time on film was literally 2 seconds, it was cool but not going to be the start of my second, more lucrative career.
This week, my new company had their first leadership conference down in Dallas. An hour into it, my phone, IM and email start blowing up. Apparently I now appear in the company global advertising campaign! All throughout the globe, people will see me on international flights, subway platforms and probably men’s toilets, if my luck holds. “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille” indeed.
