Summertime Blues in February
February’s a long month, amirite? Around 6 pm last night, I officially got weary, miffed, fatigued, drained, irritated, annoyed, exasperated, peeved and any other adjective designed to contain the emotion: Tired of Winter.
I want to see trees resplendent with leaves on them, not these scraggly twigs clawing for the sky.
I want to have my lawn cut. I want to hear the mowers in the neighborhood and smell freshly shorn grass.
I want to walk my dogs without bracing for a biting northwesterly wind that scoops up my hair, crawls down my neck and creeps up my pant leg like some unwelcome pervert.
I want to smell charcoal burning and hamburgers grilling.
I want to feel the sun on my face and have to wear SPF 50 in some too-late effort to prevent sun damage and wrinkles because I was an idiot at eighteen and thought I’d never see a wrinkle – or the age of 30.
I want Boob Sweat.
I want to hear the cicadas at night while I’m camping in Arkansas.
I even want to schlep to my neighborhood pool during my annual trip there and sit on the brand-new furniture the HOA bought last year and feel embarrassed at my fat-rolls.
I want to break out my “summer purse.”
I want to eat a hot dog that is grilled, not boiled.
Speaking of hot dogs, I want to see my dogs panting and lying on the cool tile after a good sniff around the yard.
I want to be on a boat, ya’ll.
I want to hear that “swoosh” as my sprinklers come on, see that I have 5 heads broken, and have to call my lawn company to come out and repair them. I want to be irritated about having to do that.
I want to hear the sound of my brand-new AC unit as it turns on and cools my house — more efficiently, of course.
I want to bitch about how hot it is outside.
I want to set up my hammock in the shade of my patio and spend an afternoon in it, gently rocking myself and my dogs to sleep.
I want to listen to the radio and hear what the summer hits are for 2020. They’ll be annoying earworms that I hate by June, of course.
I want to dig around in the dirt in my beds for 15 minutes, and then have to go sit down for two hours because I hurt my back.
I want it to be light for 15 hours a day.
I want to see dozens of people in line to buy mulch at The Home Depot - an annual Spring Tradition!
I want it to be “too hot to do anything.”
This morning, I got an email from my lawn company. They are ready to come scalp my lawn. I had a big smile on my face as I read.
